Dear Diary,

I’m furious!!!!! I’ve never been more angry with Momma! I can’t believe she’d do this to me! Bad Momma!!! Bad! Bad! Bad, Momma! She took a beautiful, exquisite photograph of me – it should be in a Museum! And she ruined it! She made me look ridiculous! I look like a cartoon character!

I’m never, ever speaking to Momma ever again! She’s horrible and awful and she’s wrecked me!

Take a look if you don’t believe me.

For the record, I don’t speak Spanish. I’m a cat! I meow – and I do it with excellent clarity. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to hide under the bed in shame. I’m humiliated! I’ll never recover. I’ll be in therapy for years!