A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Diary of a Cranky Cat – My New Home

Dear Diary,

Today is Friday (9-21-2012) and I’ve arrived at my new home with Boy-Dadda and Little Missy.  Momma and the Little Thing are currently missing in action.

Boy-Dadda brought us inside and released us from the confines of our kitty carriers.  I exited slowly, looked around, sniffed the air and said, “What the hell is this shit?”

(Dear Grandma – Yes – I said shit in Momma’s blog.  But it’s okay because it’s not piss.  You never said shit was bad.  Shit. Shit. Shit.)

My new home appeared clean but to my exquisitely heightened sense of smell – reeked of a filthy, dirty, stinking animal.  The smell was strongest to my left.  When I turned to investigate, I found the source of the smell.  It belonged to Little Missy.  Poor Little Missy.  She’s butt ugly and smells bad too.

Over the course of the day, Boy-Dadda made repeated trips out to the car.  Each time I politely requested he bring in my puff balls.  But did he?  No!  Of course note.  Clearly I’m someone he feels he can ignore.  Don’t worry Diary, I’ve got a cure for that.

Unable to enjoy the company of my puff balls, I began spreading my scent and fluffy pheromones around the house.  It was a desperate attempt at masking Little Missy’s foulness.  Rarely will you ever hear me admit to this, but on this occasion, I feel I must say, I failed.  No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t mask her stench.

It’s a rough life.

The only other thing I could do to mark my territory in my new home was to commence with “Operation – Open Sesame”.  I began with the cupboard doors above the refrigerator and worked my way down.  Once the kitchen was complete, I continued with the bathrooms.  Then I decided to embark on a journey into the basement, in search of more doors.  But what’s this?  The basement appears to be hiding. 

Nice try, basement.  Well played, indeed.  However, I will find you, basement.  I’m an extremely good investigator and I have the Sherlock Holmes cap and pipe to prove it.

***To Be Continued****

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A. Marie Smith

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