Diary of a Cranky Cat - My New House - A. Marie Silver Copywriter

Dear Diary,

Long time no chat. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my loving and loyal readers for my lack of blogging. Momma apparently has been too busy to sit her lazy butt down and type for me. RUDE!

Too much has happened in the past few months. WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!

Probably the most exciting thing was the purchase of my new house. Wanna see a picture? Okey dokey.

Here it is. My new house. Now, when I say my new house I want to be absolutely clear. This house is M-I-N-E!!!

If I don’t know you; STAY AWAY!!!!! I do not accept solicitors of any kind. This includes Girl Scouts, pizza delivery people, the mail man, the garbage truck, FedEx, or UPS. Momma might tell you differently, that’s why I’m going to tell you this one more time. THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

MY house has many unique amenities. For example, the jack ass who built this place has a strange sense of humor.

Look what he did! He put glass doors in the wall with a view of wood. MORON!

Look at me. Do I look amused? I don’t think so.

One of the other unique amenities to MY house is the garage – not pictured. Why is it not pictured? Because Momma couldn’t be bothered to run outside and snap it. RUDE! RUDE! RUDE!

After a close inspection of the garage, Little Missy and I took a vote and decided that it would be the best place for the Little Thing and the Little Thing’s Minion to stay. This way they won’t get in MY way. Some of you reading this might think it’s a tad cruel to put the Little Thing and his Minion in the garage but I strongly disagree. First, it’s a two car garage so they’ll be plenty of space for them to crawl around in. Second, the door opener is up high so they won’t be able to escape outside unless something fluffy with four paws climbs a ladder and “accidentally” hits the button. Little Missy assures me she would never do that.

As for the excessive heat the garage seems to absorb from outside; I’ll just have Boy-Dadda install some fans. I think he should also make sure it’s sound proof in the garage too. When they cry, I don’t want to hear it.

The last amenity, also not pictured – Momma and I are gonna have a chat about her productivity – is the back yard. Technically we had a backyard in Maryland but this one is bigger. It has grass and a cement patio and is enclosed by a tall fence. Birdies like to visit in the backyard. I enjoy chatting with them from the comfort of the living room window. I don’t go outside….EVER. I’m an indoor kitty. So is Little Missy…but I think that’s because she knows if she ever did go outside she’d get locked out. I know this for a fact because I’m the one who would lock her out. Still, it’s nice to have a place for the birdies to visit me. Boy-Dadda says he’s going to put in a bird feeder. I think that’s really cool! I love the idea of having a special dispenser designed to feed me birdies.

That’s all for now people! Stay tuned! I’ve got more blogs coming – whether Momma wants to write them for me or not!