A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Diary of a Cranky Cat: RUDE! RUDE! RUDE!

Dear Diary,

I don’t know where to begin!!!! I’ve never been so angry at Momma!!!!  I paced back and forth on the kitchen floor, wildly flapping my tail.

“Take it back!  You march right down to that store and you take it back!!!!”

Momma sat at the kitchen table looking amused.  Rude!  “I can’t take it back.”

“Return to sender!  Void the transaction! Cancel the sale!  Report your credit card as stolen!  DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!”

Momma laughed at me.  “Silly girl.  I can’t take it back. It’s done.  All sales are final.  No exchanges.  NO RETURNS!”

I jumped onto the kitchen table, walked right up to Momma and looked her straight in the eye.  “You cannot have another Little Thing.  I don’t have the first Little Thing litter box trained yet.  This is a total disaster!  The world is coming to an end!”

“What’s coming to an end?”  Little Missy wandered, uninvited, into the kitchen.  “What are you whining about?”

I turned to her, “Momma and Boy-Dadda ran off and ordered another Little Thing WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!”

Little Missy cocked her head to one side.  “Momma?  You got the Little Thing a minion?  That’s nice!”

“THAT’S NICE????  Are you insane???  The first Little Thing tries to put my tail in his mouth.”

“Well there’s no accounting for taste.”  Little Missy yawned, clearly undisturbed by this information.  Moron!

“No accounting for taste?  I’ll have you know that I taste exquisite!”

“You’re as appetizing as a moldy prune!”

Dear Diary,

The conclusion of this entry has unfortunately been delayed on account of the fact that I have to kill Little Missy.



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A. Marie Smith

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