Have you missed me? I’ve missed you. First Momma hijacks my blog so she can tell the world about Steven Spielberg’s indigestion. Apparently Ron Howard has it also. Then Little Missy locks me in the closet and refuses to let me explain my version of events. Well here I go.
First, I don’t like the Little Thing. I’ve never hid this fact and I’m not sure why it’s so shocking. Second, I do like the Little Thing’s Minion. She looks like Momma and she smiles at me (actually that freaks me out a little.) As much as I like her I think she’d be better off living elsewhere. Momma is horrible to her.
For example, last week the Minion was screaming and screaming and screaming. Momma buckled her into her car seat and ran upstairs to get the The Little Thing up from his nap so all three of them could pick Boy-Dadda up from work (they should leave him there). Minion kept crying and crying. I ran over to her and purred as loud as I could and rubbed against the car seat.
“It’s okay, Minion. Gwennie is here and Momma will be down in a second. Don’t you worry, Minion. As soon as Momma fixes whatever is wrong, I’m going to give her a good what-for! Please don’t cry.”
Needless to say, Momma did fix it and then I gave Momma my dirtiest, most grumpy look ever. She knew she was in trouble. It’s never a good thing when Gwennie isn’t happy.
Last night the Minion started crying again. I was downstairs sleeping on the kitty condo. It concerned me so I ran upstairs and sat outside her door. A few minutes later Momma stumbled out of the bedroom.
“Well look who finally showed up,” I said. “Nice of you to join us. You gonna fix her or what?”
Momma did fix it but the important thing to remember is that I supervised it every step of the way because that’s my job. I DO MY JOB!
I’ve missed you Diary. It’s nice to know you’re always here waiting for me….like a dog but prettier and less stinky.
This is Gwennie – signing off!
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