Musings of a 4-Month-Old

f66e9-benjamin_0003Captain’s Log

Star date: 04-25-2014

It has been four months since I was ejected from my space pod.  Since the ejection, I have put on some weight and my legs are longer.  I fear that even if I locate my space pod, I may be too large to fit inside of it.  Therefore I will have to seek out an alternative means to return to my home planet, Uter Us.

(Investigate possibility of using the infant carrier as a new space pod)

The other child who resides at this location may be of some use.  He enjoys bringing me my sucky-thing and does so with a smile on his face.  It appears he’s very proud of himself.  Although, there have been times where he has refused to hand the sucky-thing over to me or Momma and instead, runs around the living room, holding it hostage before Momma can catch him.

Momma is an interesting creature.  She seems quick to respond to my needs.  I learned early on that if I release a high-pitched sound in my voice she would arrive quickly, bringing bottle with her.  Just last week I changed the high-pitched sound.  It is  even more urgent and frantic.  So far, it has elicited a faster response on her part.

Boob and I have parted ways.  We no longer speak.  Our relationship was incompatible.  I am now seeing Bottle.  Bottle is my new companion.  We have approximately seven dates each day and I look forward to them with great anticipation. Bottle is always warm: heated to Boob.  Just because Boob and I no longer interact does not mean I didn’t learn a few things. Primarily, Bottle must always be heated to Boob.

The Daddy person is most interesting.  He makes goofy faces that are accompanied with strange sounds.  I can’t resist laughing at him, although I’ve tried.  The other child seems to favor Daddy over Momma.  However, I have noticed that if he’s sick, or hurt, he prefers Momma.

This is Captain Baby Girl – Logging off because something sticky is in my diaper.