Daddy and I have received your letter and the following is our response.
In reference to your complaint about “crying it out”. It is important for you to learn to “cry it out” as it is simply not possible for us to always drop what we are doing and run to you. Every night it is the same routine: we change your diaper, give you bottle, burp you and put in bed. You’re safe in your crib, the door is closed preventing Gwennie from tormenting you. You have your binky and your giraffe. There is no need for you to cry and no need for us to come running.
Regarding the nose boogies: Your face is far too precious to have nose boogies on it. Daddy and I will not leave them there. The same thing goes for your “dirt collection”. I won’t leave it on your face. You’ll just have to get used to it.
Finally, Daddy and I use the lavender stuff to bathe you because it makes you sleepy. You’re a growing boy and you need your sleep. Someday, when you’re all grown up (don’t rush) you’ll look back on your days as a little boy and realize that nap times are the best thing ever. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Per your request, here is your bottle, binky and blankie. Please feel free to nap……I mean meditate. You’ve earned it.