The season premiere of Station 19 was almost one month ago and I was very relieved to learn that Travis Montgomery – a.k.a. Jay Hayden – survived the fiery inferno. However, my theory on who the writers were going to kill off during the series premiere was off. Way off. In my post, Saving Travis Montgomery, I wrote that while Travis and Lorelai Gilmore’s daughter survived, it was Chief Herrera – Andy’s father – who died. All throughout Season 1, he’d been battling cancer and had several close calls. I figured that there were only so many near death experiences the poor man could endure before the writers would either have to kill him off or grant him a miraculous cure. As it turns out, the writers went for the miraculous cure.
The only character who died during the season 2 premiere was Lorelai Gilmore’s daughter – a disgusting and treacherous act on the part of the writers. However, they did give the character the opportunity to say goodbye to her mother before they axed her, so there’s that.
So here’s how I’m going to fix it. This is a totally unauthorized Station 19 episode. Also, I have no idea how to write screenplays and in the interest of full disclosure, I wasn’t even trying to get it right.
Grey-Sloane Memorial Hospital
Chief Herrera is lying on a hospital bed. Dr. Bailey is doing chest compressions. The heart monitor flatlines. Dr. Bailey pronounces time of death. Chief Herrera is lying in bed, unable to talk. He tries to move his hands and feet but can’t. He tries to blink but can’t do that either – because he’s dead…..apparently.
Chief Herrera (Voice Over)
Come on, Dr. Bailey. Hear me. Hear me. I’m not dead. This isn’t right. I have a contract with ABC. They can’t just end it without first doing a whole lot of annoying paperwork.
A bright flash of light appears over Chief Herrera. Powerful, like a vacuum cleaner (a Dyson – because they’re super strong), the light sucks his sole out of his body. He feels a tingly sensation in his stomach as his soul rises from the bed. Chief Herrera turns upside down, facing his lifeless body.
This is really weird. Mi hija is never going to believe this.
Cut to the Pearly Gates:
Blue sky and puffy, white clouds surround tall, white gates. Men and women wearing white stand at the gates, ready to greet new arrivals. Chief Herrera is surrounded by men and women, all walking toward the gate. Some are in hospital gowns. Others are wearing regular clothing. A man with white hair, wearing an old fashioned black preacher’s uniform approaches Chief Herrera.
Welcome, Brother. Welcome to His holy temple.
(He extends his hand. Chief Herrera shakes it.)
What a wonderful life force you have. Say, would you mind if I sang in honor of your arrival?
(Uncertain of his new acquaintance)
Sure. That would be fine. I guess.
God is in, his holy temple. Earthly thoughts be silent now.
(Lyrics by James Montgomery)
A short woman with dark hair storms over toward the man and Chief Herrera.
Kane! What the Hell are you doing up here! Get your ass back downstairs.
Kane scowls and hisses at Tangina.
Don’t you give me attitude. I excorcised your ass once. I will do it again.
Kane sulks off.
(Turning toward Chief Herrera)
I’m sorry, Sugah. He wasn’t supposed to be here. And quite frankly, neither are you.
(She points off to her left)
Why don’t you take a stroll this way. You’ll find your earthly vessel.
Um. Thank you.
(He turns back toward the short woman.)
What’s my vessel?
Allison. Find Allison. She’ll know.
Cut to: DuBois Residence – Phoenix, AZ.
Allison DuBois is sitting in her living room having coffee. She shivers, feeling a cool breeze pushing through her house in 103 degree weather.
Whoever you are, go away. Shop is closed.
Allison? It’s me. Manuel.
Allison stands up.
Manuel? What are you doing here?
I need some help. I died but I wasn’t supposed to do.
Are you kidding me? The show’s over. It was cancelled six years ago.
I know that. That’s why I’m wearing a firefighter’s uniform. I landed a new gig.
Must be nice.
I need your help. I’m not supposed to be dead. Some lady said you could help me.
Allison rolls her eyes and groans.
Let me guess. Tangina, right? Fine. This is what you need to do. Go home!
Tune in Wednesday for the shocking finale to this totally unauthorized episode of Station 19. Thanks for shopping Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm!