Earlier this month, I celebrated my 40th birthday.
Not entirely satisfied with that diagnosis, I went to the doctor.
“Ooh!” She pulled her hands away and stepped back. “Those are really swollen. Open your mouth and say ah.”
“Yikes. That’s gross.”
“What’s gross?” Are doctors supposed to say stuff like that?
“Your tonsils. They’re so swollen they’re rubbing together.”
“So I’m healthy. That’s awesome.”
“Actually it means your really sick.”
Mental note: She does not speak sarcasm.
“I think you have Strep but it could also be mono. I’ll need to take a culture and some blood work to be sure.”
Thirty minutes later the nurse was in the room about to give me three shots for Strep. The first shot was an antibiotic. The other two were steroids to ease the swelling of my tonsils…I think. I’m not really sure what the steroids were for but she said they would help so I took them.
The antibiotic was injected in my arm.
“Okay,” the nurse began. “These next two shots go in your rear.”
“Your butt, dear. The steroids have to be injected in your butt.”
“No,” I said, pulling my pants down. I bent over.
“Girl! You got it going on back here! That is some grade-A, black woman’s ass. There’s a happy man at your house.”
Thanks for shopping Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm! I’ll see you next time!