Fair warning! Writing Facebook status updates isn’t exactly my specialty. You know that person…that really annoying person who never really posts anything original but spends most of their time “liking” everyone else’s statuses. That’s me. Here’s an example of the kind of activity I’m notorious for.
“My boyfriend and I broke up.” – Like
“I’m pregnant!!!” – No acknowledgement
“I got fired.” – Like
“I’ve been promoted.” – No acknowledgement
“My house burned down.” – Like
So if it seems that my status posts aren’t any where near as entertaining as you’d like them to be…well…now you know why. Without further adieu, here is my attempt at writing actual status updates for 2017.
1. Baby girl informed me she would not eat chicken nuggets if they had the breading on them..
2. My son has a new hobby. He enjoys making mud pies…..in his bedroom. 🙁
3. Baby girl is OFFICIALLY potty-trained! Now that both of my kids are out of diapers, I’ll have more time to train my husband how to put the toilet seat down.
4. I’m guilty of murder. I killed a spider. In my defense, he was staring at me with a threatening look in his eyes.
5. WOOHOO!!!!! Pilcrow & Dagger just made Writer’s Digest’s 101 Best Websites for Writers!
6. Dear people who create Someecards. It’s called proofreading. You should try it sometime.
7. Baby girl just informed me she wouldn’t eat chicken nuggets unless they had the breading on them. She handed me her plate and asked me to glue the breading back on.
8. Dear socks, where do you go after I put you into the laundry? Is it a magical place like Narnia? Or is it something darker, like the Bermuda Triangle for socks? Do let me know when you return.
9. My book just made #1 on Amazon!!!! SWEET!!!!!!
10. Our fourth of July party was awesome! Although, we did get some strange looks for having our Christmas decorations up. Guess it’s time to take them down.
11. Baby girl just told me she doesn’t like chicken nuggets and never has. #IAMCONFUSED
12. You know you’re an editor when, you’re correcting tweets on Twitter. #INEEDAHOBBY