For this challenge, I’m supposed to “describe yourself in the third person -your physical appearance and personality-as though you were a character in a book.
I’m going to change this up a bit. The first thing that popped into my head when I read this was a scene where a camera crew is running around town interviewing people who knew me before I was famous.
The Making of an Author: A Behind-the-Scenes look at A. Marie Silver
“Come on, Murray!”
I hate it when she yells at me. It’s not so easy lugging this heavy, piece-of-crap all over town. This is a commercial grade, professional camera. Not a hand-held.
Laura ran in front of me, armed and dangerous with her microphone. The station is still trying to settle a lawsuit last year from a guy she interviewed, who claims she smacked him in the face with it, knocking out two of his front teeth.
“Rachel! Rachel McNay!” Laura ran through the crowded sidewalk trying to catch up with our first interview of the day.
McNay stopped in the street, surprised to see a reporter and cameraman chasing after her.
“Yes.” Her eyes lit up when she saw me. She twirled her hair in her fingers as she flirted with my camera.
“We understand you know Author A. Marie Silver? Is that correct?”
“Could we have a moment of your time? We’d like to ask you a few questions about her?”
McNay nodded, running her fingers through her hair.
Laura turned to me, signalling to get the camera turned on. A few switch flips and I was all set.
Laura stood in front of the camera, rolling her tongue a few times – a technique she employs frequently, claiming it helps her speak clearly.
“This is Laura Ralley, with Channel 3 News, reporting living from the intersection of ‘I’m Lost Boulevard,’ and ‘Ask for Directions Avenue.’ With me today is Rachel McNay, bestie of Author A. Marie Silver who is famous for her Diary of a Disgruntled Mommy series – now in theaters.”
Laura held the microphone in front of McNay. “Ms. McNay, can you please tell us a little bit about A. Marie Silver?”
“What would you like to know?”
“Well, for starters, what does the A. stand for?”
McNay cringed. “Ooh! I can’t tell you that. It’s super-secret classified.”
“Well, tell us then, what’s she like?”
“Super weird!” McNay giggled. “She always talking to herself- which isn’t that bad. Everyone does it. But the freaky part is, watching her answer herself. That’s totally weird.”
“Have you ever confronted her about that?”
“Yup. Many times. And every single time she says she’s not really talking to herself, she’s talking to her characters. For the longest time I thought she had multiple personality disorder. But then her books came out. So, I guess she was telling the truth.”
“Did you see her on the red carpet last night?”
“Absolutely,” McNay cheered. “She was glamorous in all that couture. I almost didn’t recognize her.”
“She doesn’t normally dress like that?”
McNay burst out into laughter, turning her face away from the camera momentarily. “No.” She wiped tears away from her eyes. “Not at all. Normally she wears blue jeans or cargo pants, a blue hoodie and tennis shoes. But last night, she looked a-maz-ing! She looks like she’s lost a lot of weight. She used to be fat — like Pillsbury Doughboy fat! But now she is PHAT! And her hair! It’s usually a rat’s nest but last night every curl was flawless.”
“Is she a nice person?”
McNay bit her lip, staring down at her shoes.
McNay’s head popped back up. “Sorry. I remembered something I have to get at the grocery store later.”
Laura giggled. “Is A. Marie a nice person?”
“Oh totally…yeah….usually…most of the time. She’s definitely nice when she’s not in a bad mood or not having a bad day. If she is you’d better watch out. Otherwise she’ll put you in one of her novels. Six months ago, I accidentally backed into her SUV. I’m pretty sure I’m the friend she kills off in her latest series, Adventures of a Bat-Shit Crazy Woman.”
“Did she tell you that character was you?”
“Oh no. No, like I said, she’s normally very nice – except when she’s not.”
“Well thank you very much for your time.” Laura turned back to face the camera. “This has been an interview with Rachel McNay, friend of Author A. Marie Silver. I’m Laura Ralley and I’ll see you later.”
Laura dropped her arm, rolling her neck.
“Excuse me?” McNay asked, as I was shutting down the camera.
“Yes,” Laura answered.
“That whole interview thing wasn’t on the record was it?”
Oh boy! This is going to be a long day!