Captain’s Log Star date: 04-25-2014 It has been four months since I was ejected from my space pod. Since the ejection, I have put on some weight and my legs are longer. I fear that even if I locate my space pod, I may be too large to fit inside of it. Therefore I will have to seek out an […]
Category: Mommy Humor
If The Baby Monitor Could Talk
1. THE BABY’S AWAKE! THE BABY’S AWAKE! THE BABY’S AWAKE! 2. ATTENTION! THIS IS A SPECIAL NEWS ALERT! THE ARMS ARE LOOSE! THE ARMS HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE SWADDLE! ONCE AGAIN, THE ARMS ARE LOOSE! 3. BOOB ALERT! BOOB ALERT! MOMMA! PLEASE REPORT TO THE NURSERY. THE BABY NEEDS BOOB. 4. THE DIAPER HAS SPRUNG A LEAK! REPEAT! THE DIAPER HAS […]
It Goes in the Mouth
It Goes in the Mouth My diaper is wet My mouth is dry I cry and I cry Daddy comes in He picks me up It’s a nice try But it’s not enough. He changes my diaper I smack my lips He gives me that sucky thing I spit it out. It’s not that thing! That thing that goes in […]
Musings of a Newborn
Star date – 150120013, It’s been six weeks since I was forcibly ejected from my escape-pod. Fortunately my captors have demonstrated compassion. The two older captors – who call themselves Momma and Daddy – seem to be kind. They take turns changing my space suit which inexplicably floods throughout the day. The younger one, whom Momma and Daddy refer to […]
Baby’s 1st Time at Daycare
Today was the first time I put Baby in daycare. My husband had the day off and we thought it would be fun to have an afternoon date. We took Baby to daycare, signed a few forms at the front desk and then met the people who were going to watch our child. Since this was our first time using daycare there was […]
If Baby Took Out a Personal Ad – Updated!
Hi everyone! Once again, my name is Button. I’m a 9 month old Caucasian male. I have blond hair, blue eyes and a shy, bashful smile that makes Momma and Daddy giggle. I’m getting to be quite a big boy. I have four teeth; two on the top and two on the bottom. I need a little help getting into […]
Things You’re Not Supposed to Talk About
Who would have thought there are rules to blogging? Yes, in fact there are. One of the many don’ts of blogging is that you are never supposed to talk about why you haven’t been blogging. Apparently it’s in poor taste. Don’t ask me why. I don’t make the rules. But I do follow the rules…usually. So…I won’t talk about why […]
When Life Throws You a Spare – Bowl with It!
On New Year’s Eve I went with my husband and our baby to the local bowling alley. As I sat there, waiting for my turn it occurred to me that some of my most embarrassing moments happened at a bowling alley. When I was in high school I went bowling with some friends and, while in search of the women’s […]
Dear Baby, Momma Wrote Another Song For You
Dear Baby, Here’s a new song for a new year! Momma loves you baby Daddy loves you baby and both kitties too. (Yes they do!) Baby is loved Baby is loved Baby we love you! Grandma loves you baby Grammie loves you baby and both grampies too. Baby is loved Baby is loved Baby we love you! […]
If Baby Could Talk – Pretty Kitty
Baby was on the floor rolling around from one end to the other. He stopped when he saw Gwennie walking by. With a wide smile and overwhelming happiness in his eyes he squealed with joy. “Pretty Kitty! Pretty, pretty kitty!” Gwennie, annoyed as usual, sneered at him as she marched by. “Yes little thing; that’s right. I’m pretty. You’re very […]