April 30, 2011
Bert & Ernie Literary Agency
123 Sesame Street,
Dear Mr. Grouch,
When was the last time you read a really great book? Yesterday? Last month? Three years ago? Well, buckle up your tin can because here at last is a really great idea.
I’m currently writing a piece about Beatrice, a washed-up, disgruntled 32-year-old who interacts with all kinds of people and does stuff. Excited? Keep reading. One day Beatrice stumbles upon a paranormal essence located within a small historic town in Ohio. From page one, all hell breaks through in Beatrice’s life. Eventually I’ll get around to writing it.
While there are many books out there that tell a tale of paranormal events, none of them have the paranormal essence that this book has. What exactly is a paranormal essence? I have a no idea.
To market this book I will beg the Ghost Adventurers to allow me to make a guest appearance on their show so that I can gain some national attention for this masterpiece I have yet to write. If they turn me down then I’ll plea my case with the Paranormal Research Society. I am also willing to use my blog (www.generallydisgruntled.wordpress.com) and my Twitter account – @disgruntledkat to gain additional attention.
I feel I am the best person to write this book because I am also a washed-up, disgruntled 32-year-old and I regularly do stuff that involves interacting with people.
I have selected you to be the lucky agent who represents this Pulitzer-Prize winning piece because as your name applies, you fully understand what it means to be a little cranky.
A Generally Disgruntled Writer