My day started off pretty swell. I did my Wii workout, hung out at the library and then ran to the store to pick up some items for dinner. Even though I had a list of things I needed, I still, out of habit, make a point of walking up and down the aisles looking for things I don’t need and probably can’t afford. When I got to the snack aisle I immediately turned around. The snack aisle used to have a pretty good relationship but since I’ve been on Weight Watchers, and off Weight Watchers, and back on Weight Watchers, and off Weight Watchers and then finally back….I make it a point to run like hell from the snack aisle.
Today, however, was a little different. Last week at Weight Watchers they were selling boxes of pretzel thins. At the time I didn’t buy them because I didn’t feel like paying five dollars for a box. But today, it occurred to me that I had made a serious and devastating mistake by not buying those pretzel thins. The grocery store was my only hope.
I must have walked up and down that same aisle about a thousand times, carefully examining all of the Oreo cookies, pretzels, Nabisco 100 calorie packs, and Little Debbie products but sadly there weren’t any pretzel thins. The only pretzel thins that I did find were not packaged individually. Get this…..you actually had to count out the serving size all by yourself. 22 thins per serving. That sounds reasonable except that I’m on Weight Watchers for a reason. Half way through my portioned serving it would occur to me that I actually shorted myself 10-15 pretzel thins, thus defeating the purpose.
I was so devastated that I thought about just dropping dead, right there in the grocery store, just outside of the snack aisle and barely into the freezer section. But I stopped myself from doing so because then some poor schmuck from the Coroner’s office would have to come out and drag my over-sized ass off the floor and that wouldn’t be right. Then again, there are always pro’s and if I did decide to drop dead right there I might actually be doing the investigator a favor. See, the grocery store is in a nice neighborhood and thanks to the health codes, there is a limit of the number of creepy-crawlies that are allowed to crawl on the floor…..so the investigator might actually feel like he/she is on a vacation by coming into a nice neighborhood and working in an environment that doesn’t smell like feces.
Alas, I decided after all that I wasn’t going to drop dead….at least not today…..and definitely not in a grocery store. ‘Cause that would just be rude. Probably even more rude than the lack of diet pretzel thins in the store.
Next time I go to Weight Watchers….I’m definitely buying those pretzel thins. Definitely…..unless a serving size is more than two points ’cause then I’m not so sure it would be worth it.