A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Vampires in the Morgue

Sometimes I really have to wonder where in the world I am when phenomena, such as Twilight, occurs.  I leave the house everyday.  I interact with other people.  Yet, it wasn’t until the movie has been released to DVD for rental that I had even heard about it.

After hearing one of my coworkers gush endlessly over Edward and all of his vampire sexiness, I broke down and rented Twilight.  The first time I watched it, I didn’t get it.  What didn’t I get?  Any of it.  Yes Edward is a hunk but there’s enough of an age difference between the two of us that if I ever did gush over him I’d feel like a pedophile.  Anyway, because I felt like I was clearly missing something, I watched the movie a second time.  Guess what?  I still didn’t get it.  So I watched it a third time with my friend.  Nope.  Still clueless as to what all of the hype was about.  It wasn’t until we watched it for a fourth time that she and I decided maybe if we read the book it would fill in the blanks.

Yep.  That did it.  The movie left us stumped because of all the detail that had been left out of it that was in the book.  Go figure.  We were both addicted to the books after that.  I however, lost interest in the insanity after the second book.  She and another coworker of mine, however, weren’t so fortunate.  It was like they had been hit with a stun gun and then dragged lifelessly into a world of teen-vampire romance with a main character who whines way too much for her own good.

Saturday mornings had become official Twilight day at the morgue.  During down time those two would sit at their desks, hour after hour reading the books.  I, on the other hand, sat at my desk playing video games and making weird faces at both of them until they looked back.  Of course, there were way too many times when it would just get too quiet for me.  I couldn’t stand it.  I had to do something.

They, the avid and dedicated readers would sit, slowly soaking up each and every page, while occasionally fighting over who would get Edward.  Icky!.  And then, from out of nowhere in a high-pitched voice with an errotic tone, I would call out:

“Oh!  Edward!”

The first few times they jumped right out of there seats.  I still call that out sometimes when things get a little too quiet in the morgue, just for fun.  Fortunately, all the books have been read.  I can relax now….until November….when the second movie comes out.

“Oh!  Edward!”

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A. Marie Smith

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