Making Words Work for You
A collection of anecdotes from my brief employment of a death investigator. Fair warning! Many of the details have been fictionalized.
Over the past three years I’ve had a lot of changes. Changes with in my careers, mostly. But also relationship changes and geographical changes. Once upon a time I had a different blog dedicated to my career as a death investigator. But when I left that field it didn’t seem right to keep blogging about …
>I knew for about eight months that I was leaving my life as a death investigator so that I could come to California to be with the man of my dreams. In a desperate attempt to move out to California I applied for work everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE! Pet stores, office supply stores, retail …
My friend called me this evening with exciting news that she needed some advice on. Friend:   I was offered this job out of state that pays quite a bit less than what I’m currently making. It’s     an incredible opportunity and the same day I was offered the job, someone made an offer on my house. …
>The day before my date with Smelly Guy, I began by following through with my usual routine….I went to work. Exciting! Nothing spectacular happened that day, or at least, nothing that I can remember. Just before 1900 hours, when I’m officially off duty, he called. Smelly Guy: “Are we still on for tonight?” Me: “Yeah. …
>First and foremost I would like to apologize for the delay in my postings. I’ve been out of town recently. This final bit in my series of “How not to date a Death Investigator” definitely falls under the category of “I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Smelly Guy (yes there is a …
>Where to begin with this one. This guy is, overall, a nice guy. Clean cut and practices good hygiene (I’ll explain that one later), a father of two, recently divorced. He’s about ten years older than me. He is also very, very religious. Religion isn’t a bad thing but it’s not something I’m exposed to …
>Dear Hospital Staff, Recently we came to your hospital and presented to you on the topic of Correct Death Reporting Procedures. However, since that time, it has become abundantly clear that you were not paying attention at all. I’ve taking the liberty of jotting down some things that are of concern to my office, in …
>Okay so you’re probably asking what’s up with “Surfer Dude”. There came a point in time where I was interacting with enough guys online that I began giving them nicknames so that I could keep them straight when I was talking about them with my friends. Surfer Dude and I never actually made it to …
>Actually, this rule/scenario probably applies to anyone who works with in the law enforcement community. Everyday for the past several months I tell myself, “Thank God I’ve met a wonderful man! I’ve never been more relieved to never have to do online dating anymore.” Not long after my divorce I decided that it was time …
>Dear Applicant(s): Many people, when applying for a job, believe that their time to “shine” starts at the interview. I regret to inform you that this is not so. Your time to shine, infact, starts from the time you submit your application and resume. Every communication you make with my office after that is also …
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