Making Words Work for You
A blog written by a cat. A disgruntled, cranky, sarcastic, cat. You’ve been warned.
“Okay Gwennie,” I’m getting your Memes uploaded to Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and StumbleUpon.” Gwennie flapped her tail, not listening to a word I was saying until the last social media site I mentioned. “Stumble-a-who?” She jumped onto the kitchen table and sat next to the computer. “StumbleUpon,” I repeated. “What’s that?” I rubbed my …
Dear Diary, I’m gonna be famous. I finally have my very own video blog on YouTube. Get out of my way Grumpy Cat! Gwennie is here to stay! Now, I should warn you that the camera man, Momma, is inexperienced with taking video footage so my first entry isn’t perfect. But don’t worry, despite its …
Dear Diary, I have a hard life. There have been so many changes recently that the stress of all of it has just about pushed me off the cliff of sanity. (But at least I’m poetic.) Ever since Momma brought the Minion home I’ve had increased responsibilities. For example, I have to clean up …
“No!” Little Thing wagged his finger at Gwennie who stared at him with her usual amount of contempt. “What do you mean, no? Don’t tell me, no! That’s rude!” She glared at him from the top of her kitty condo, just barely out of his reach. “What’s going on?” Little Missy pranced down the …
Dear Diary, Momma said I owed her an apology. She said it’s not nice to call people fat….even if it’s true. She said I should never, ever say such hurtful things to people because it’ll make them feel bad. She also said I should write an apology to her so everyone knows I’m not actually …
Dear Diary, I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last made an entry. Momma is the vessel I use to write and she’s been a little busy. Yep. That’s right. Momma did it again. She went to another rescue organization and brought home a human kitten. (Head shake) She never learns. You would think …
Happy Frickin’ New Year, Preverts!
1. I don’t like you. 2. (Regarding #1) Yes. It’s personal. Next time get a permission slip before being born. 3. I don’t care what spell check, Webster, Google or any other dictionary says. It’s not Pervert. It’s Prevert. P-R-E-V-E-R-T. 4. I don’t care what grandma or anyone else says. Little Missy is ugly and …
Dear Diary, Where the heck am I? This isn’t my blog! I’m mean just look at it! Who put those books at the top of the page? Where are my follow buttons for Twitter and Pinterest? Who put that picture of me up?! Do I sound relaxed to you?! Then it occurred to me. The …
“Well there you are, Gwennie. Where have you been all day?” “Hiding.” She rubbed her head against my hand, silently requesting ear squishes. “Why were you hiding?” “I don’t like loud noises. I don’t like Boy-Dadda banging away in the garage and I don’t like the rain and I really don’t like the thunder.” “What …
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