Diary of a Cranky Cat: I Applied for a Job!!!

Hello friends and fans!  I know it’s been a while since my last blog – four months to be exact.  I do apologize.  Momma has been fired from her duties and I’ve replaced her with someone else.  In the meantime, many exciting things have happened over the last few months.  The most exciting one is that I applied for a […]

You Might Be A Prevert If…..

You might be a prevert if….. 1.  You haven’t allowed your cat to write a blog in TWO months. 2.  You let Little Missy and the Little Thing’s Minion hijack MY BLOG!!! 3.  You post stupid cartoons from someecards.com before allowing me to write MY BLOG!!! 4. You logged onto MY BLOG the other day to add a novel word […]

Little Missy’s Thursday Afternoon News Broadcast

Little Missy stood near the coffee table holding an empty paper towel roll in front of her.  “Ahem.  This is Little Missy and I’m reporting live from the living room.” She stepped to one side.  “As you can see, the Little Thing is on the floor, face-down, and crying.” Little Missy walked over to the Little Thing and held the […]

Diary of a Cranky Cat – I’ve Been Nominated!!!!!

Dear Diary, Oh Happy Day!!!!! I’ve been nominated for a 2014 Liebster Award!!!  Isn’t it exciting?  Isn’t it thrilling?!!!  My blog has been discovered and nominated for a Liebster Award!!!!  I have absolutely no idea what that is but my tail has never been fluffier!!!!  This is only the first of many awards that I, Gwendolynn Ann Marie Stefani Collins […]

Diary of a Cranky Cat – It was a wonderful dream!

Dear Diary, I was surrounded by thousands of puff balls.  They were my minions and I was their queen.  We lived in a castle on top of a hill.  Catnip grew wild all around me.  Momma and the minion resided with me but Boy-Dadda and the Little Thing were banished from my kingdom.  Little Missy was given a life sentence […]

Diary of a Cranky Cat – Well it’s about time!!!!

Dear Diary, Have you missed me?  I’ve missed you.  First Momma hijacks my blog so she can tell the world about Steven Spielberg’s indigestion.  Apparently Ron Howard has it also.  Then Little Missy locks me in the closet and refuses to let me explain my version of events.  Well here I go. First, I don’t like the Little Thing.  I’ve […]

Dear Mister Diary – This is a special update from Little Missy

Dear Mister Diary, Gwennie can’t come to the computer to type this entry.  I grounded her.  She was very, very naughty!  It all started yesterday. I came down the stairs and found M0mma’s Little Thing hiding in the corner of the room.  “Little Thing,” I said, “Why are you hiding?” “Momma’s vacuuming.” He said.  Little tears streamed down his eyes. […]

Diary of a Cranky Cat – Mommy Got Preverted!!!

Dear Diary, Something horrible and awful happened to Momma and one of her friends. They got preverted!!!! I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably wondering what preverted means. Well, I’ll tell you. preverted is something awful that happens. For example, when someone knocks on the door or rings the door bell, that’s preverting. When the Little Thing looks at me, […]

Diary of a Cranky Cat – It’s NOT FUNNY!!!

Dear Diary, I’m furious!!!!! I’ve never been more angry with Momma! I can’t believe she’d do this to me! Bad Momma!!! Bad! Bad! Bad, Momma! She took a beautiful, exquisite photograph of me – it should be in a Museum! And she ruined it! She made me look ridiculous! I look like a cartoon character! I’m never, ever speaking to […]

Conversations I Have with My Cat

“Okay Gwennie,” I’m getting your Memes uploaded to Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and StumbleUpon.” Gwennie flapped her tail, not listening to a word I was saying until the last social media site I mentioned.  “Stumble-a-who?”  She jumped onto the kitchen table and sat next to the computer. “StumbleUpon,” I repeated. “What’s that?” I rubbed my eyes, tired from a sleepless […]