Making Words Work for You
A blog written by a cat. A disgruntled, cranky, sarcastic, cat. You’ve been warned.
Dear Diary, I figured it out! All this time I thought Momma’s Little Thing was an ugly, hairless, smelly, drooling cat. But, I was wrong. He’s not a cat at all. Over the past month or so, I’ve been watching Momma and Boy-Dadda interact with him. It’s very interesting. They place him on the floor, …
Dear Diary, I’m NOT talking to Momma and you can’t make me. Just sayin’. We arrived in a placed called Atlanta a couple of days ago and are staying with my human aunt and uncle. It’s a nice house but apparently Momma believes there are rules for me to follow. You’re gonna laugh your ass …
Dear Diary, This is has not been a good week. Not good at all! NOT GOOD! BAD! BAD, BAD! I thought I made it perfectly I wasn’t going to Georgia. Apparently, Momma didn’t get the memo. Either that, or she refused to read it. This whole mess actually started last week Thursday. That’s when Boy-Dadda …
Gwennie: Why’s the little thing crying now? Me: He’s sick. Gwennie: What did you do to him? Me: I didn’t do anything to him. Sometimes babies get sick. Gwennie: Maybe you should return him. Me: Return him? Gwennie: Yeah. Return him. Me: I can’t return him. Gwennie: Sure you can. Just do a return-to-sender. Me: …
Me: Gwennie, what are you doing? Gwennie: I’m looking at a blog on the Internet. Me: Really? Which blog? Gwennie: http://nestingrobin.blogspot.com/Me: What’s that about?Gwennie: Well, apparently it has absolutely nothing to do with birdies. Rude!Me: Why did you assume it would?Gwennie: Because of the title. Nesting Robin. Robins are birdies and they have nests.Me: Well, …
I DON’T NEED THIS STUPID COLLAR! I’M NOT GOING TO GEORGIA! I’M NOT LEAVING MY HOUSE! THIS IS MY HOUSE! MOMMA PROMISED ME I’D NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE IT. I’M NOT GOING TO THE DOCTOR FOR MY VACCINATIONS BECAUSE I’M NOT LEAVING MY HOUSE! I’M NOT MOVING TO GEORGIA! THIS ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN! (Pant. …
Dear Diary, Yesterday strangers came into my home. It’s not the first time strangers have come into my home. A few weeks back we had strangers in our home everyday. Momma said that she and Boy-Dadda needed to rent out home out because we have to move to Georgia. That’s just silly. I’m not going …
Dear Puff Ball, Why must you be so naughty? Momma’s little thing was fine just a minute ago and now he’s crying. When I walked into the room to investigate, I found you sitting on the floor, glaring at the little thing. Why would you be so awful to Momma’s little thing? He can’t help …
Me: Okay Gwennie! Tell all of our nice readers what the book is about and what you thought of it. Gwennie: Well the book is about a teacher who walks into a classroom that has a lot of smelly, dirty foul…. Me: Gwennie! Let’s leave out unnecessary adjectives. Gwennie: (Sigh) Fine. The teacher walks into …
Me: What book do you want to review? Gwennie: I want to review The Day the Dogs Took School Over, but I’m a little confused. Me: Why? Gwennie: I thought Aunt Sheri wrote this book. Me: She did. Gwennie: But on the cover it says it’s by Anne Michaels. Me: Aunt Sheri is Anne Michaels. …